The Chronicles of a Real Life Ninja: Believe It
by The Bloody Red Queen Of Angst
Summary: "And who am I?" It's not easy. Sticking it to the man. Housing with unstable roommates. Living off of Ramen. This comes as my first story for Naruto. AU. Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto OR any of the characters. Believe it.
1. Enter Uzumaki: Ninja Wannabe

Life sucks ass. Believe it.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. Right to your face. Don't believe them.

And all that crap about life giving you lemons? Also a big. Fat. Lie.

Fact.

Because lemons suck ass _just_ as badly as life does. And lemons are also really... _really_ gross and incredibly disgusting.

Ramen on the other hand... That stuff's the shit. Seriously. And I'm not just saying that because I live my life along the poverty line and most days Ramen is about all I can afford to eat. But earning minimum wage slaving for the man at Target _does_ have it's advantages. The gig may not be all that glamorous, the the perks are pretty decent.

Like the 10 percent employee discount. Which...in fact...makes Ramen all the more affordable.

Thank you, Target.

But I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah...Ramen. Too few people really stop to appreciate the true culinary range of this meal. Believe it. Because Ramen...is not simply ' _Ramen_ ', you know? I mean...it _can_ be. If you're really boring. But if you take the time to properly prepare said dish, and use a little bit of creativity in adding canned peas and hot sauce, Ramen can move from a meal that is delicious to one that is also nutritious.

Sort of...

Now... from my views on life and it's level of suckage...you _might_ be tempted to assume that I'm a bit of a pessimist. A Debbie Downer. Negative Nancy.

But you.

Don't.

Know.

Me.

So assume _nothing_. Because you know what they say about assuming. And if you don't? I'll spell it out for you. Because to assume _anything_ makes an ass out of you and me.

The truth? The truth of the matter is both complicated and very... _very_ simple. In my lifetime of twenty years, I have been through way too much. Have seen and experienced so much pain and sorrow that it's impossible for me to view the world through rose colored lenses.

Fact.

It is because I have endured so much in this life...that I simply refuse to let it get me down. Count on it. And it is, my friends, truly as simple as that. I just don't have the time for that type of negativity in my life right now.

I leave that shit to my roommates.

Emo Boy of Walmart and Goth Man of the Craigslist.

And _me_?

Who am _I_?

Prankster.

King of dumbassery.

Village idiot.

The punchline to _every_ bad joke.

Perpetual optimist.

Lover of Ramen.

Glorified Target cashier.

The number one hyperactive knucklehead ninja wannabe.

The name's Uzumaki, bitches.

Naruto Uzumaki.

And this is _my_ story.

Believe it.


	2. The Call Of Duty: Defend Your Honor!

**A/N: Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man...of wealth...and taste.**

 **Okay...not really.**

 **But I want to say hello to you all, as this is my first time in Naruto! I sincerely hope that you all enjoy this story and the shenanigans you are about to receive.**

* * *

"Die motherfucker, die motherfucker! _Die_!"

Those...were the first words I heard, followed by a cacophony of gunfire as I entered into the inner sanctum of my home after a long shift surrounded by people dumber than myself. And that meant only _one_ thing.

Game night.

"Sasuke!?" I hollered out from the entryway as I heard more swearing from the common living area before he answered.

"Living room." This came response to my call as I grinned.

 _Excellent._

Game on.

I strut through to the living room to take in the sullen, hunched form of my roomie, clutching the game controller as he glared daggers at the screen. Those brooding black orbs of desolation lined in what _he_ called 'guyliner'. Taking in the scene of utter devastation. And his palled features were made only more sickly pasty and vampiric by the fact that the only light in the room was emanating from the television.

"Leave it." I heard this dark, monotonous, almost vampire like hiss in response to my movement to turn on the lights as I gave a small sigh.

Great. Now I had to hunt for my headset in the dark. Thankfully I knew this house like the back of my hand, so it took me little time to suit up. Flopping on the couch next to the man with perpetual bed head, I adjusted the mic of my headset as my fingers danced along the controller, allowing my entrance into the game as a computerized voice announced my arrival to the fight.

 _'_ _ **numberoneladiesman' has entered the game**_

"You really need to change that name." Sasuke muttered under his breath, causing the faint double voice next to me that simultaneously reverberated and echoed in my head set.

"Just as soon as you change yours, pal." I retorted with the roll of my eyes.

"There's _nothing_ wrong with my name, _loser_." This came spat from his lips as fingers tipped in black nail polish continued to furiously dance along his controller, moving his player through the hailstorm of bullets.

 _ **'TheUchiha' has died**_

"You mother _fucker_!" He blurted out through his mic to one of the other game players who had just murdered him.

Sometimes I wondered if the man had some form of verbal turrets, or if this was truly the _only_ viable response he had for getting his ass kicked.

 _ **'SandMan' has entered the game**_

The two of us silently exchanged hesitant glances towards each other before our gaze drifted in tandem to the closed door at the end of the hall. And the _thing_ lurking inside. Covering the mic of my headset, my eyes trailed away from the door like a whipped puppy with its tail between its legs. I wordlessly mouthed _'it's_ _ **him**_ _'_ and watched as Sasuke gave a small bob of his disheveled head of hair before the slight crackle of a voice manifested from the other side of my headset.

 _'I can hear you.'_

I gave a forced laugh, awkwardly grinning to the air as my gaze fell along the television.

"Oh..." I chuckled nervously into the mic. "Hey Gaara." This greeting came long and drawn out from my lips before it was met with a deep disembodied voice of backlash.

 _'Don't talk to me, noob.'_ This came muffled yet harsh through the static of my headset. _'I don't know you.'_

 _ **'TheUchiha' has entered the game**_

I heard an audible sigh emanate from my headset towards Sasuke's entrance back into the game before the static voice manifested once again. Deep...dark...and malevolent.

Before you ask... Yes. I know what that word means.

 _'And what did I tell you about changing your name?'_ This came ominous through my ear piece as I heard a soft, snarky chuckled snort next to me. _'It's insulting to think that you believe you can actually be number one in anything.'_

Wait.

What did he just say...?

"He's right." This came muttered with equal disdain from next to me as I shot Sasuke a glare before the deep voice from the headset manifested in immediate rebuke.

 _'And you.'_ This came harshly snapped towards Sasuke through the slight static of the headset. _'Don't you_ _ **ever**_ _fucking agree with me,_ _ **poser.**_ _'_

"What did you just say?" Sasuke growled through a hiss into his own headset, eyeliner gaze glowering at the screen as he hunched even further in bristled hackles.

 _'You heard me, hack.'_ This came uttered antagonistically in deep monotone. _'You **disgust** me. Your very existence is a fucking personal insult to me.' _ I gave a small grimace to these harsh words as the man behind the headset continued. _'You're nothing but a cheap,_ _ **gay**_ _imitation of Goth.'_ And I swear I saw Sasuke's upper lip twitched in absolute rage.

"I'm not fucking gay!" Sasuke shouted into the mic for all the other players to hear. "I'm Emo, you fucktard!"

 _'Keep telling yourself that, Sasu-gay.'_

"Come on, guys." I groaned towards the fight breaking out between my roommates. "They're practically the same thing, aren't they?"

 _ **NO!**_

I stood corrected as I came verbally bitch slapped from _both_ sides of this heated argument.

...unbelievable...

But before I could stop these two from tearing each other apart, the deep husky voice manifested through the crackle of the headset.

 _'And now I shall make you my bitch...Emo boy.'_

 _ **'TheUchiha' has died**_

The computerized voice announced a perfectly executed head shot as Sasuke gave himself over to another petulant growl and the curl of his lip.

"You mother _ **fucker**_!" This came several octaves higher than I'm sure my roommate meant for...and I swear it looked like the man was going to cry.

The only thing probably holding back the tears was the fact that it would have ruined his careful application of eye makeup.

And I would have laughed...

But I didn't feel like getting hit in the head with the game controller. So I decided to stick up for the guy.

"Gaara..." I muttered into the headset in an attempt to mediate this latest fight.

Over the same...

Exact...

Thing...

"Come on, man. Seriously? Why do you have to keep picking on him?"

 _'Stay out of this,_ _Uzamaki, before I make you join him._ _'_ This came a dark, monotonous warning through my earpiece from the man lurking in the master bedroom of this house.

A bedroom...with its own bathroom...that I reluctantly moved out of when he offered more money for it. And the man never left that room. Ever. Unless Sasuke and I were either at work or in our rooms sleeping. We didn't even know what he looked like, because he decided to move himself in when we were both gone.

...and I still had no idea what he actually did in order to make rent every month...

So much for Craiglist. But in my defense, Gaara's application looked pretty solid.

"Can't we all just get along?" I protested.

 _ **NO!**_

Why did game night always end up like this...?

 _ **'TheUchiha' has entered the game**_

Seriously... Couldn't we just have a normal guys night in?

 _'Back for more, Sasu-gay?'_

...apparently not...

"Come out here and say that to my face!" Sasuke snapped as I let out another groan.

 _'I'd rather not.'_

"You afraid I'd kick your ass in a real fight?!"

 _'No.'_ This came a low, pithy crackled response. _'Because I know you'd half ass that fight like you're half assing this one.'_ And to this I heard an almost feral hiss push its way through Sasuke's lips as it came echoed through the mic.

"The Uchiha does not 'half ass' _anything_!"

Great.

Sasuke was referring to himself in third person...again.

This wasn't good.

 _'Why...?'_ This came an almost breathless sigh from the earpiece of my headset. _'Why do you make me do this to you, Sasu-gay?'_

The computerized voice rang out before either one of us had time to react to the assault.

 _ **'TheUchiha' has died**_

"Mother _ **fucker**_!" And I gave the reflexive flinch from the couch as the game controller was violently thrown across the room.

Forcing himself from the dilapidated couch, Sasuke yanked off his headset and stormed off down the hall and into his room, slamming the door behind him. Followed by the melodramatic sounds of Green Day blasted at an unholy volume.

...great...

Now he was listening to Green Day.

"Perfect." I grumbled into the mic as I focused on the game, though I wasn't really interested in playing anymore.

Green Day was such a mood killer.

 _'Is he in his room again listening to Green Day...?'_ This came lowly uttered from my earpiece in deep disembodied monotone.

"Yes." I groaned. "Thanks to _you._ " And a soft, sardonic snort came through the static.

 _'Excellent.'_ Gaara quipped in my ear as we continued to play together. _'How much you want to bet he's crying right now...?'_ And I gave a small sigh through the mic.

"Not funny, Gaara." I retorted sourly. "You _know_ I hate Green Day. And you pushed him anyway." I almost whined into my headset. "Now I'm going to have to listen to that shit all night because of what you did."

 _'I'm sorry, Uzumaki.'_ This apology came muffled through my earpiece as I gave a sigh and a small pause of silence.

"It's fine." I muttered, resigning myself to a night of Sasuke's ridiculous music.

 _'No...'_ This came in static monotone laced with an invisible smirk. _'I'm_ _ **sorry**_ _...Uzumaki.'_

Squinting my eyes to the screen to see exactly what he was up to now, my eyes barely registered the attack of violent gun fire before the computerized announcer gave those most fateful words every gamer hates to hear.

 _ **'numberoneladiesman' has died**_

"Hey!" I shouted into the mic at the unfair injustice of this act of betrayal. "No fair, you jerk!" But my protest was interrupted by the faintest sound of a foul, malicious chuckle

 _'You are now all my bitches.'_ My ear was assaulted by the demonic sounds of Disturbed's 'Down With The Sickness' as it came simultaneously echoed from my headset _and_ Gaara's room as the man went on a bloody killing spree.

And you all thought _Sasuke_ was melodramatic.

I watched on in slightly jealous awe as Gaara performed feats and maneuvers no mortal gamer could have pulled off before the whole entire screen was lit in a flash of brazen fire from a bomb I _knew_ he couldn't have gotten from any normal mission. Killing everyone instantly to the resounding cry of profanity and cursing of his name.

"How did you _do_ that?" I breathed into my mic, still in slight shock at what I had just seen.

 _'An upgrade and reprogramming of my software system.'_ I heard this monotonous response. _'I call it the 'fuck all' button.'_ The music of his room came to a lull and gave way to Sasuke's louder, more depressing melody. _'I use it when I get bored.'_

"That's so badass..." This came in awed approval as I heard another breathy snort.

 _'I know.'_

"Where can I get one of those?" I asked before I heard a crackled, condescending scoff.

 _'You can't.'_ A scowl formed along my television lit face. _'It's my own design.'_

"But you can't make you're own weapons." I protested.

 _'...funny...'_ The disembodied voice came low and cold. _'...because I just did...'_

"No." I muttered into the mic, ready to argue my point. "That's not what I meant." I quipped. "There's no option in this game to create your own weapons."

 _'...I know...'_

"Then..." I gave a slight stutter. "...how...?" My head ached in confusion as I tried to figure out exactly how he had accomplished what he said he just did.

 _'If I told you...'_ These words came deep and ominous over the headset. _'...then I'd have to kill you.'_ Before I could conjure an adequate response to this threat his voice came over the system once more to address me. _'You now have one hour to vacate the common area. Goodnight, Uzumaki.'_

 _ **'SandMan' has left the game**_

Sitting in the aftermath of this virtual destruction and my roommate's ridiculously ominous countdown to have the common area all to himself, I finally removed my headset with a sigh as I stared at the screen for a moment.

Game night with my roomies...

Fun.


	3. Welcome To Walmart: Part One

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews and support of my first venture into the Naruto fandom! Thank you to my guest reviewers (J) and (Ili). I honestly wish that I could thank you both personally for your support. Thank you Darkside69, for placing this story on your favorites list AND for following. And thank you, lastly, to all those reading and supporting on the sidelines.**

 **For those of you who are reading this work know me, you may see this as a bizarre departure from my normal genera and writing style. And...all I have to say to you is this. Shhh...**

* * *

"Saskue Uchiha!" This came bellowed out in a high booming tenor as the double doors to the back room came simultaneously flung open. "Prepare yourself for the morning chant!"

The muffled sounds of movement came halted in momentary silence before slowed, shuffled footsteps manifested from the darkness of the poorly lit stockroom and the ominous looming figure of the shadows stepped forth into the small pool of florescent light. Plain black, non-skid work shoes donned feet stilled in their movements, the lean figure moving no further forward. Black slacks came paired with a thick, rebellious black belt lined with large, almost gaudy notches as it came wrapped around a thin waist.

A leather knife sheath came attached to the garish belt that seemed to accentuate the narrowed waist of the thin yet muscularly tone figure. The dark slacks and belt seemed well paired and suited for the look of the tacky, tucked navy blue cotton short sleeved shirt bearing the Walmart logo just beneath the left collarbone.

This whole 'rage against _The Man_ ' look was paired and accented with sharp features, pale skin, and jet black, inky hair. Thick, course, and wiry, the back recklessly and almost haphazardly spiked in every direction. The front strands of bangs having been artfully twisted and pulled back, bobby pinned in place out of the way. Away from almost luminously palled skin that came strangely contrasted with the way that the rest of his dark tresses framed his angular jawline. Black hair that almost came to match dark brooding, almond shaped obsidian eyes lined in black liner that now glared at the man who had just dared to enter the darkened back room.

"Lee..." This came low and ominously muttered towards the man who had so enthusiastically entered the inner recesses of the dark, unholy sanctum of _Sasuke's_ stockroom.

...oh yes... The stockroom was _his._ From the hours of 11:30 pm to 7:30 am. And there was _nothing_ any of them would...or could say about it. Not until he clocked out and left...which wasn't for another fifteen minutes.

"...what have I fucking told you about being so energetic around me...?"

"It simply _cannot_ be helped!" This came joyfully gushing and boisterous, the man not even batting an eyelash or raise of his bushy brow towards the open profanity as Sasuke felt the beginnings of a very real eye twitch. "It's the beginning of another glorious day, and we _must_ rise like the sun itself to meet it! Come, Sasuke!"

"Pass..." This came muttered in flat monotone as Sasuke armed himself with the small work knife attached to his belt. "I'm busy." He turned on his feet in order to return to work in the poorly lit storage room before his toned shoulders were roughly grasped from behind and he was spun around.

"Sasuke Uchiah." Lee's voice came just as fiercely intense and overwhelming as his gaze...and those disturbing eyebrows...as they furrowed along his ensuing words. "It is statistically impossible for you to be unavailable for _every_ morning staff meeting." The man continued seriously as he continued to hold on to Sasuke to keep him from fleeing. "Besides..." This came with a hint and spark of fire the man had formerly possessed when walking into the back room to retrieve the human vampire. "We have new staff members to embrace and welcome into the Walmart family."

"...great..." This came drawn out from Sasuke's taut lips in a low drawl. "Fresh meat."

"That's the spirit!" The man slapped Sasuke's shoulders roughly before turning on his heels. "Onward!" He announced boisterously with the raise of his hand and dramatic jutting of his index finger.

"Fine..." Sasuke muttered under his breath with a sigh as he sheathed his knife once more to follow Lee out the double doors and into the general population. "But I'm _not_ going to fucking chant, Lee. I mean it."

As the two walked towards the small gathering of employees, Sasuke was greeted by yet another exuberant...feminine voice.

"Oh my gosh! Sasuke!" This came squeaked in a high trill and the wave of a hand from the woman with long, cascading blond hair now bound back in a tie. "You _never_ come to these meetings!" She continued to gush as the eyes of the group fell upon the unimpressed stock-boy. "What gives?" And the expression of complete loathing that Sasuke shot the blond was like a palpable slap across the face that effectively silenced the woman.

"Lee made me." Sasuke grumbled in protest with a scowl and the defiant folding of his arms along his chest, his voice coming a cold deadpan from taut lips as the man with unnatural eyebrows winked and gave a thumbs up to the people gathered.

Sasuke stood his ground apart from the crowd. Just outside of the circle. Maintaining a permanent scowl and defiant folding of his arms along his chest, which only showcased the delicate script inked on his flesh, running the length of each of his forearms from elbow to wrist. On one arm was artfully scrawled in breathtaking italicized calligraphy _'Straight Edge For Life'_. On the other, in the same beautiful script, it read _'Rise Above The Influence'_. And...going unseen to the eye, was a small x placed along the top of either middle finger. On the digit closest to his hands.

"Hey Sasuke." This calmer greeting manifested next to him as Sasuke gave himself over to a small, almost petulant sigh to the sudden rush of attention. "It's nice to see you here."

"Ten Ten..." Sasuke murmured back lowly to the woman who had come to stand next to him just outside the circle.

"But you know..." He heard this whisper laced in a level of terse, almost maternal seriousness. "You might want to think about cooling it with the mean mug around these newbies." The woman continued to lull quietly next to Sasuke, just out of earshot of the others. "Cause it _kinda_ looks like you're deciding which one of us to stab first. They might get the wrong impression about you."

"Funny..." Sasuke mumbled in a quiet drawl as his dark brooding gaze continued to take in the small group with a level of disdain. "...because that was almost _exactly_ what I was thinking..." A small, wicked little smirk twisted along his lips, those deep obsidian eyes slowly drifting to the side to spare the woman a disparaging look before she quickly fled to the safety of the circle.

"Alright, everyone! _Pipe_ down and _shut_ up!" This demand came loud and irritated as it drew the attention of the small crowd. "The faster we get this done, the faster I get to go back to my office."

Shikamaru Nara. The man with a perpetual ponytail of thick spiky hair and chronic laziness that could put the best of sloths to shame. It was a wonder how he had ever scaled the ranks to be promoted to manager. Though this unseemly character trait wore on Sasuke's nerves, the man's extreme apathy and anti-establishment view towards the corporate giant had somewhat endeared him to the passionate non-conformist.

Out of all of the supervisors Sasuke had ever worked for...he hated Shikamaru least.

"Unbelievable that they'd go and schedule this orientation on my shift..." Sasuke heard this muttered under the man's breath as he passed him by. "...what a drag..."

...and this made Sasuke smile...

"Okay...lets get this started and make it quick so we can all get back to work." This came grumbled from Shikamaru's lips. "My name's Shikamaru Nara. I'm the AM supervisor. Since we have some brand new hires in the group today, we'll go around and introduce ourselves." The man fought against an internal gag and roll of the eyes as he continued, as if monotonously reciting a trivial list. "We'll go around, and each person will state their name. How long they've worked here. What brought them to Walmart. Something they like. Something they hate. And something about themselves." His expression laced in a permanent scowl, Shikamaru gave the small, directive nod of his head. "Blondie...you're up." And the young woman singled out gave a small pout and the show of her tongue before beginning.

"Hi, I'm Ino Yamanaka." The woman with long, bound satin stresses stated in a feminine lilt. "I've worked here for about six months, just passing my probation period!" She gave a small smile and thumbs up as Shikamaru continued to scowl, unamused. "I came here because they had an opening with the hours I was looking for." Ino trilled, ecstatic at being the center of attention as she commanded the eyes of the group. "What I like?" She asked, her gaze lingering briefly on Sasuke before subtly shifting away. "I like em tall, dark, and handsome." This produced and audible groan from management and a slightly hopeful look from the man with the strange bowl cut and overgrown brows that was swiftly brushed off for her continued monologue. "And what I hate...is competition." She stated sharply before finishing. "And something you should all know about me...?" Her smile came a mixture of malicious vixen. "I _don't_ give up...and I _don't_ take no for an answer." She gave another unobtrusive glance to the resident stock-boy. "Ever."

"Next..." Shikamaru deadpanned, effectively ending the subtly awkward glaring contest between Sasuke and Ino.

"Hello." The small group's attention was drawn to the only slightly mousier young woman with jade eyes and pink hair. "My name's Sakura." She murmured shyly, her cheeks dusting just a shade lighter than her strange tresses. "Sakura Haruno." This came whispered just a little louder to be heard as she continued in a self contentious stutter. "I just got hired...today will be my first day." This generated a small round of applause from the man with the bushy brows and ridiculous looking hair cut as Sasuke shot him another annoyed glare from just outside of the circle that quickly halted the man's enthusiastic admiration. "I came here because Ino...my friend..." Her jade eyes lifted towards the woman with long blond tresses. "She said that you guys were hiring... And I was looking for part time work to put myself through medical school." The two girls shared a smile as Shikamaru now openly rolled his eyes towards the display of commradery. "I like helping people...but...I still haven't become a huge fan of the site of blood." This caused another light blush of the cheeks as she looked away, continuing. "And I guess...something you should know about me is that I always work hard and try to do my very best..."

The rest of the new recruits followed suit with their pathetic stories. Each one...just as uninteresting and unimportant to Sasuke. Because...he simply didn't care. Not about them, anyway.

"Sasuke!" The harsh call of his name broke him of this insulating cocoon of numb indifference as dark almond orbs narrowed on Shikamaru. "You're up." The two exchanging a small look before a sharp sigh of protest passed through Sasuke's slender nose.

"The name's Uchiha." This came deadpanned from lips as he continued to scowl at the group. "I've been here for over a year..." He muttered as he continued to hold an almost petulant demeanor. "Which is _way_ too long for my liking _or_ my sanity." These words came as cold as his dark gaze and appearance as he glowered at the fresher faces. "I came here because Banana Republic fired my ass." He quipped bitterly.

"Their loss, Sasuke Uchiha!" This came shouted encouragingly from Lee as Sasuke spared him an unimpressed expression.

"Whatever..." This came grumbled as he began to inspect the tips of his black polish nails in disinterest before muttering under his breath. "...dork..." Sasuke continued to take in the slowly chipping polish, avoiding the group as he spoke flatly. "I don't really _like_ much of _anything._.." These words came cold and grim as his palled expression. "...and I _hate_ a lot of things..." Exotic obsidian eyes lifted to the small crowd through thick lashes accented in liner in a level of disdain. "And what you all _need_ to know about me...is _this_..." His gaze came intense with the drop of his voice to a low hiss. "I made myself a promise a long time ago... And this promise I made...is that I won't _ever_ break."

 _...not like him..._

"Sasuke Uchiha, everyone." This came monotonously flat through the small, sardonic twitch of a smirk playing along Shikamaru's lips. "Our resident mascot and role-model for embracing the Walmart way of life." This generated a few chuckles, though most of the new staff still stood in slight shock and awe towards the intensely dark young man still standing outside of the group in protest. "And with enough time and dedication to our company, you too, shall become _this_ bitter." He gave a half-hearted gesture to the overnight stock-boy. "Something to look forward to." Sasuke scowled at him, fighting the urge to brazenly flipping the man off in retaliation as the group began to drift off task, chittering in a low buzz of small talk and pleasantries.

"Oh my gosh, Ino..." This came whispered between the two friends as clear jade eyes attempted not to stare. "Who _is_ he?" Sakura murmured to her friend Ino as the other woman gave an almost bitter snort to the obvious interest in Sakura's question.

" _That's_ Sasuke..."

"He's _so_ handsome..." Sakura continued to whisper in overt admiration.

"Please..." Ino scoffed. "Get in like, Sakura... _Everyone_ likes him." This came a breathless hiss of a disgruntled whisper. "But a word of advice..? Don't go wasting your time, girlfriend." Ino spoke in bitter, hushed tones to her friend as she spared the stock-boy a brief look of forced disinterest. "He's Straight Edge..."

"What's that?" Sakura asked, her friend's words doing little to deter her from her interest in this mysterious boy.

"Apparently it's some sort of hard core underground punk movement." She murmured lowly. "They don't party, drink, do drugs..." Ino listed off the details of this lifestyle trend. "They embrace this whole, 'my body is a temple' lifestyle..." She whispered quietly in hushed tones through the buzz of quiet conversation. "It's weird." Ino muttered coldly. "I don't think he even _dates_." She hissed with a small scowl, her open disappointment coming painfully obvious. "I mean...the guy's _so_ emo and non-conforming that he gives non-conformists a run for their money." Her gaze flitted from the center of their conversation back to her friend. "But honestly, Sakura...how badly can you be sticking it to the man when you work at Walmart...?" She whispered. "It's a bit hypocritical."

"Wow..." Sakura breathed...her friend's words only serving to further her infatuation and curiosity. "...he's _so_ deep..." She spoke like a love sick puppy.

"Please." This came a sharp hiss of utter contempt. "He's arrogant and condescending!" Ino spat. "He has a _huge_ ego complex with a 'holier than thou' attitude."

And in the span of a heartbeat Sakura watched as dark obsidian orbs slowly drifted their way as if pulled to their conversation. A single eyebrow arched in a dangerously hostile show of displeasure at being stared at. Absorbing her friend's harsh, angry words and the way that this guy now glared across the distance in their direction, Sakura finally understood...and the level of shared hostility from both sides now made sense...

Ino had already asked this guy out...and he had turned her down.

Sakura suddenly felt her heart sink as her emerald gaze shyly fell to the floor in dejection. Ino was one of the prettiest girls that she knew. And...if _Ino_ didn't stand a chance with a guy like Sasuke...where did that leave her?

"Okay, time to wrap this up." Shikamaru's authoritative voice drew the small group back to center. "Lee...lead us in the morning chant..." With these unenthused words, Sasuke was immediately fishing for the earbuds attached to his cheaply made knock off phone that had been carelessly shoved into the back pocket of his slacks, stuffing the earbuds into place.

"Yes sir!" This came overly ecstatic from the man with the bizarre brows and hair cut as he raise a hand to salute the morning manager...who simply rolled his eyes with a small exasperated sigh.

"...what a drag..." Those infamous three words were the last thing Sasuke heard before his sensitive ears came violently assaulted with the melodramatic melancholy of some obscure alternative rock as he gave another petulant sigh.

Just another day at Walmart...

Where the prices were always guaranteed low...

The customer was always right...

And the angst-ridden drama of high school never seemed to end.

* * *

 **A/N: Just throwing out some sources and definitions!**

 **Straight Edge:**

 **Originated from the punkrock/hardcore scene. The philosophy/life-choice that humans should have strength, pride, dignity, honor, and self respect; that they shouldn't engage in activities that are a disgrace to their minds and bodies. (such as ingesting and/or becoming addicted to harmful substances for fun, lying and/or being two-faced, and sharing your body sexually with another person when there isn't even a true emotional bond there)**

 **-Urban Dictionary**

 **For some, this (also) extends to refraining from engaging in promiscuous sex, following a vegetarian or vegan diet, and/or not using caffeine or prescription drugs. The term straight edge was adopted from the 1981 song "Straight Edge" by the hardcore punk band Minor Threat.**

 **-Wikipedia**


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